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今年冬天格外的冷，昨天東京竟然下起鵝毛大雪，我吃驚的站在窗前看了好久。天氣越冷，我越懶，每天7點左右意識模糊的伸手去抓空調遙控器，把暖風開到最大，然後接著睡到十一二點。老板S每天都會在12點左右給我"morning call", --"Jess，你還好吧？快點來辦公室吧，拜托..." 估計S每天都是欲哭無淚的表情，有一天他很感歎的對我說，“Jess，你在上一個公司的兩年是怎麽過來的啊...”我安慰他，“你再忍忍，我現在處在冬眠mode，過幾天天氣暖和了，我早晨就早起了。”老板當場幾乎噴血，如[唐伯虎點秋香]裏的對穿腸一樣。軼聽了S的事跡後，感慨萬分，“多好的老板啊...竟然沒有炒了你。”我樂，他倒是想炒我，小公司就是這點好，員工比老板牛，Dave說我taking advantage。其實，很多時候我也覺得guilty，但是早晨從溫暖的被窩裏爬出來，實在難度太大，我是“心有餘而力不足”。
和Rob還是見了一麵，其戲劇性遠超過我的想象，這回應該是徹徹底底的結束了。忘記在哪裏看來的，說，失戀如出水痘，早出早好，我這算不算得上是失戀，很難講，但所有難過，憤怒，不滿都在一夜之間發泄出來之後，我如大病初愈，安全的get over him. 我始終沒有想清楚的是，I felt sad, its cos that I had strong feelings for Rob, or just cos of the frustration that I didnt get what I wanted. 我想，我不會繼續探究其答案，not every question would come with a clear answer. Rob說，he still has feelings for me, but he thinks there is a very strong possibility that I would leave him with a broken heart down the road, "Jess, I am old, I really cant afford that big risk emotionally or physically..." 我無言以對，relationship需要兩個人共同“投資”，take the risk of falling with your full heart, Rob對我，對他自己都沒有信心，it was probably very bad idea from the beginning to date someone at my dad's age. Anyway, what pissed me off a lot is that, Rob thinks I am too young to understand what a real commitment means, LOL. 6 years ago, I might not know, but now, I am 28, I do know what a real commitment is! Its good to end this "thing" here, or I might get into some funny situation that trying hard to commit just for proving that I could commit.
上周五和Miho去A971喝酒，熱鬧非凡，我們站定不到10分鍾，搭訕的男生層出不窮，Miho很開心（她總是很開心，我很羨慕），我意興闌珊。這個冬天格外的冷，加上depression，I probably wanna have someone next to me more than ever, but should I keep waiting for the special one to show up, or just compromise for some less special one? 這是個難題。To make sure that I would survive this freezing winter even by myself, I stopped by the supermarket today on my way home, bought a huge warm blanket. So I can just warm myself, while waiting for the special one.
To 各位常來看我blog的同學，
最近很懶，更新很慢，印尼遊記和上海遊記都寫得有頭無尾，很是抱歉。爭取早日寫完，謝謝各位捧場和支持：）
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