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這個冬天突然變得很漫長, 已經是3月中旬, 仍舊冷, 我的耐心已耗盡, 無可奈何的鬱悶. 上一周隻有一天準時到公司, 基本都是下午到, 很晚走, 我決定把裝病進行到底. LEADER問我是不是身體不舒服, 我說是的, 我很鬱悶, 需要每天看醫生, 抑鬱症是最好的借口, 我可以活蹦亂跳的同時病入膏肓. 其實, 我覺得自己真正的問題是A.D.D., Attention Deficit Disorder, 這個正好解釋了為什麽我不能集中考慮比較認真的問題超過5分鍾, 且不喜歡COMMIT, 因為A.D.D.!!!
我和UNCLE GEORGE又發生爭執. 他對我和MARIO的關係覺得困惑, 認為我們要麽totally physical relationship like f buddies, or into a real relationship, 我覺得存在即是合理. Mario said he can cook really good italian food, and can make cheesecakes, WOW, that is quite something, especially for a cheesecake lover like me. Then George thought I should push a little more on this, try to join Mario's life cycle...I was like, "WHY???" Well, I would rather to set him free, if its love, he comes back to me, if its not, then why the hell I want it? Anyway, that is not the main point I argued with George, I said something really harsh to him, its cos the day before he told me how great to be in a marriage for women, how happy his wife with the marriage...blah blah... then the very next day, he just slept with somebody else, thats called cheating! I was like "what the fuck you doing? you told me all bullshit abt marriage, now look at you, you are such an asshole to cheat on ur wife!" George said, "say that when u are in a marriage!" Thats really ridiculous, cos he in a marriage, that means he can cheat??? If you cant keep the commitment, then dont get married! Well, anyway, its none of my business, I just feel bad for his wife, maybe like what George said, --dumb is a gift.
周五晚上, 本來打算加班, DAVID說一起喝杯咖啡, 他接下來有約, 我正好回來繼續加班. 結果, 我們的一杯咖啡喝了3個多小時, 我的加班計劃徹底泡湯. 當然不隻是咖啡, 我們一起吃了晚飯, ROTI的HAMBURGER, almost the best hamburger in Tokyo, I have been to ROTI a couple times, but never tried the swordfish hamburger, David said its really good, well, he is totally right. I dont know why, recently I am kinda addicted to hamburgers. We had hamburgers and wine, then went to TGI Friday, just cos Friday's drinks had cherry with stem, we wanna give a try to that tongue magic so much, and it turned out that we both failed, I think the stems are not long enough, that is why, LOL. We stayed together for the whole Saturday, watched a couple of movies, and Russell Peters video, which is hilarious. Late afternoon lunch, and talk, its very relaxing to talk with David, we probably could talk about everything, no taboo at all, that is so cool. 我覺得我和DAVID講的話大概比我和MARIO過去6個月講的話的總和還要多, I even know that David has an aunt who loves casino. It seems this kinda talking thing becomes therapy for both of us, relieving us from all stress from wherever or whoever.
我和DAVID是同一類人, curious, open to try anything, most time confused, laid back, wanna become idealist but lack of courage, lack of discipline, not organized at all, love good food, drinks, clubs, and city life. 很多時候, 我都覺得我們兩個好象兩隻性格相近的流浪貓, 突然相遇, 然後惺惺相惜, 超越男女之情, 很奇妙的感覺. We almost have the same types of problems in life, maybe in different scales, but I totally understand his situation, so does he, its amazing. Think about Mario, I like him maybe because he has something I dont have, well, I didnt mean his dick, apparently I dont have that, I mean his life style, his being disciplined and organized, he can get up at 6am to work everyday, WOW, that just sounds so cool to me. If a company wants me to get up at 6am everyday, they better pay really good. Anyway, Mario is in military, military life is all about discipline. I am confused again, not very sure what I really like about Mario, or its just purchasing something that I didnt get yet? Tough question...then leave it alone, that is what ADD people do.
I gonna be more disciplined next week, or before I find the next job, this company might have fired me, that sucks.
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