Out of the blue, insomnia strikes me again. When I had it two years ago, it lasted so long that I eventually fell into depression, and had to seek medical attention. All the doctors invariably asked me the same question like “Has anything happened in your life recently?” It seems that you have to have a reason to be insomniac. One time a person made a comment about insomniac, and said that he has a clear conscience during daytime, so has no problem falling into sleep during night time, which really made me mad. Last time, I really did not have anything that could trigger insomnia, such as marriage problem, job stress, health problem, or death of a family member or friend.  This time, I am in the best mood ever and ready to spend my summer time on traveling, reading, and other leisure activities.

I fell into depression last time, because I did not know this condition well, and thought that something was wrong with my mental state, blaming myself and feeling guilty, and all. But I know better now. It could be genetic, physiological, psychological, or a combination of things, somehow I just can’t shut off my mind and fall asleep. So if my insomnia does not go away in a few days, I will definitely go to see my doctor.  

I remember Yan Geling (嚴歌嶺), a Chinese author who suffers from insomnia, once said in her interview: what you are given (by God?) is a package, and you can’t pick and choose, but only accept what you are given (something like this, and I can’t remember her exact words).  Now I am thinking the same way, and I am determined to deal with it the best way I know how. At the present time, I am going to stop my mental activities for a while and increase my physical activities, such as exercising, doing household chores, cooking, window-shopping, et al.