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[THIS IS NOT A SCRIPT.這是記錄不是劇本。]
[Kimmel] You know, all through this government shutdown, people kept saying that the congress acts like a bunch of kids. Some congressmen even said that they finally brought the adults in a room to settle this today. So I’m gonna be interesting[sic] to ask a group of actual children for their opinions on this subject and, so uh… I did, here’s the first installment of our hard-hitting news discussion panel, we call it Kid’s Table.
[主持人] 你們知道，這次政府關閉，一直以來人們不停地說國會的表現就像一群小孩子。一些國會議員甚至說過，終於有一天雙方的“成年人”坐在了一起去談判。所以我覺得找幾個真的孩子來討論這些問題會很有趣。所以，嗯……我就這麽做了。這是我們迎著難題上的新聞討論組的第一部分節目。我們稱之為“小毛孩圓桌討論會”。
[Kimmel] Welcome to Kids Table. I’m your host Jimmy Kimmel. This is our table. These are our kids. Today's topic, politics.
[主持人] 歡迎收看“小毛孩圓桌討論會”。我是主持人吉米Kimmel。這是我們的桌子。這些是我們的孩子。今天的話題，政治。
[Omission: discussions on the definition of politics, the spelling of Obama’s name, and the government shutdown]
[此處省略：關於什麽是政治，如何拚寫奧巴馬的名字，還有為什麽政府關閉]
[Kimmel] OK, next question. America owes China a lot of money, 1.3 trillion dollars. How should we pay them back?
好，下一個問題。美國欠中國很多錢，一萬三千億美元。我們該如何償還？
[Boy 1] Shoot cannons all the way over and kill everyone in China.
[男孩 1] 從這裏開大炮打過去，殺了在中國的每個人。
[Kimmel] Kill everyone in China? OK, that's an interesting idea.
[主持人] 殺了在中國的每個人？呃，這個主意值得想想。
[Kimmel] Yes (turn to Boy 2 and signal?him to speak)
[主持人] 你來說（轉向男孩2，示意讓他說話）
[Boy 2] Build a huge wall so that they cannot come to us.
[男孩 2] 砌一座巨大無比的牆，他們就不能過來找我們了。
[Kimmel] You’re saying to build a wall in China, a huge great kind of wall? That will never happen.
[主持人] 你是說在中國建一堵牆，象長城那樣巨大的牆嗎？那沒戲。
[Kimmel] Alley, when you owe someone money, should you pay them back?
[主持人] 艾麗，你欠別人的錢，要不要還？
[Girl 1] Never!
[女孩1] 沒門兒！
[THIS IS NOT A SCRIPT.這是記錄不是劇本。]
[Kimmel] But then they won't lend you money any more.
[主持人] 那可就沒人借你錢了。
[Girl 1] Oh... that's a problem!
[女孩1] 哦，那就麻煩了！
[Kimmel] Should this country be forced to pay our own debts?
[主持人] 那麽這個國家應不應該必須償還自己的債務？
[All Kids] Yes!
[所有小孩] 應該！
[Kimmel](pointing at Boy 1) But you just said kill everyone in China a little while ago. What happened to that?
[主持人]（指著男孩1）你不是才說要殺了在中國的每個人。還這麽想嗎？
（All kids laugh）
（所有小孩笑）
[Kimmel] Should we allow the Chinese to live?
[主持人] 那我們應不應該讓中國人活下去？
[All kids except Boy 1] Yeah!
[所有小孩除了男孩1] 應該！
[Boy 1] No!
[男孩 1] 不應該！
[Girl 2] But if we don't allow them to live, they’ll try to kill us.
[女孩 2] 假如我們不讓他們活，他們也會不讓我們活。
[Boy 1] But they will all be killed and … (cut off by Girl 1)
[男孩 1] 可是他們已經都給殺光了呀，還有……（被女孩1打斷）
[Girl 1] Yeah, they’re gonna be[sic] all be killed.
[女孩 1] 是啊，他們先都被殺了。
[Girl 2] If we kill them, they won’t pay us … (cut off by Kimmel)
[女孩 2] 假如我們殺了他們，他們不會再借給我們……（被主持人打斷）
[Kimmel] Well, this has been an interesting edition of Kids Table: The Lord of the Flies edition.
[主持人] 各位，以上是這一期好玩的“小毛孩圓桌討論會”，“蠅王”版【注1】。
[Kimmel] I'd like to thank our correspondents, Braden, Eva, Braxton, Alley. You've been wonderful. Let's take a gummy break. Shall we?
[主持人] 在此我感謝我們的新聞工作者，Brayden, Eva, Braxton, Ally。你們都很棒。現在我們來吃軟糖，好不好？
[Kids] Yeah!
[所有小孩] 好！
[Kimmel] (spit out gummy on the floor)
[主持人] （把嚼過的軟糖吐到地板上）
[Girl 2] No!
[女孩 2] 這是不對的！
[Kimmel] You want to see something gross?
[主持人] 你們想看更惡心的嗎？
[All kids] Yeah!
[所有小孩] 要！
[Kimmel] (put a gummy in the nose, make face and funny sound)
[主持人] （把軟糖塞到鼻孔裏，發聲做鬼臉）
【注】
1. 《蠅王》（Lord of the Flies）是威廉·高丁發表於1954年的寓言體小說。小說講述了一群被困在荒島上的兒童在完全沒有成人的引導下如何建立起一個脆弱的文明體係。最終由於人類內心的黑暗麵導致這個文明體係無可避免地被野蠻與暴力所代替。主題是備受爭議的人性，個體權益與集體利益的衝突,是當代英文小說中的經典。威廉·高丁也為此獲得1983年諾貝爾文學獎。
http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E8%9D%87%E7%8E%8B
[THIS IS NOT A SCRIPT.這是記錄不是劇本。]
© Citations welcome, as long as not quoting out of context.
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