Back in April, an Alabama man sued his county official for not allowing him to marry his MacBook.  Judge Cris Green decided to hear this case in court.  

No wonder the Court docket is always clogged!  I still cannot believe that nerd got his day in court, while my prisoner client who sued for a broken ankle he sustained while being chased by the police was dismissed on the pleadings! A much more meritorious case in my view. 

I digressed. What I am trying to say in this blog is that, social isolation is the plague of the digital age, and attorneys are the most susceptible group. Did I forget to mention that the Alabama MacBook's groom-to-be is a former attorney? 

Take me for example.  I lock myself in my office 10 hours a day, with my computer.  (I have a decade-old Dell PC, a little slow of course but much more manlish than MacIntosh).  Every morning I spend an hour putting on my makeup and a fine outfit, endure half-an-hour Bart ride (without air conditioning most of the time), just so I can be with my computer behind a closed door for the next 10 hours, just the two of us.  I write to my computer; I talk to my computer; I eat two meals without turning my eyes away from its screen; I take my computer out for coffee breaks; I don't see a real person the whole day but I fix my makeup in the middle of the day anyway, so I will look as fresh to my computer in the afternoon as the moment we just met.

So if anyone should marry a computer, it should be me.  I spend so much time during the day with my computer, I may as well sleep with it.  Oh wait, I am already doing that. I take it to bed and fall asleep with it telling jokes to my ears. 

You may wonder, during all this time I am having intimate interactions with my computer, where is my husband? He is with his.  And of course, his is a slender Mac Air dressed in rosy gold.  

I have 2,200 billable hours on my shoulders, a huge mortgage to pay off, and I missed the lottery by all 6 numbers every year.  Yes, I am going to be with my computer in sickness and in health, until death do us apart.