1 模仿

A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea,” said his mother.  "Your stomach’s hurting because it’s empty. It'll be all right when you’ve got something in it.”

Shortly afterwards Dad came in from the office, complaining of a headache.

"That’s because it's empty,” said his bright son. “You’d be all right if you had something in it.”

一個男孩放學回家時覺得肚子痛。“來，坐下，吃點點心，”媽媽說，“你肚子痛是因為肚子是空的。吃點東西就會好的。”

一會兒，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，說是頭痛。

“你頭痛是因為你的腦袋是空的，”他那聰明的兒子說，“裏麵裝點東西，就會好的。”

2 自然分娩

A lady didn’t quite make if to hospital for the birth of her child; in fact, the baby was born on the lawn just outside the main entrance. The poor woman was dreadfully embarrassed and was being consoled by one of the nurses, who said; "Don’t worry about it. It could have been worse, when two years ago we had a woman who gave birth in the, elevator.” The woman cried," That was me!” and burst into tears.

一個孕婦還沒有來得及到醫院就生下了她的孩子。實際上，嬰兒是在醫院大門外的草坪上出生的。這個可憐的女人因此而感到非常的尷尬。一個護士安慰她說:“不要擔心，有的人還不如你呢。兩年前有個女人是在電梯裏生下的孩子。” 那個女人淚如泉湧地哭著說:“那就是我!”

3 熊和兔子

A bear is chasing a bunny when all of a sudden a djinn appears and grants them each three wishes. The bear, being very selfish, wishes that all the bears in his forest were female and instantly it is done. Then the bunny wishes he had a lifetime supply of carrots in his backyard. For his next turn, the bear wishes that all the other bears in his entire nation were female. The bunny wishes for a motorcycle. Finally on the last wish, the bear wishes that all the other bears on the whole earth were female. The bunny wishes that the bear was gay and rides home on his motorcycle.

當一隻熊追著一隻兔子時突然一巨靈出現，並可實現它們每人三個願望。熊非常自私，希望在他的森林中的所有其他的熊都為雌性，瞬間願望實現了。然後兔子希望在他的後院有他過一輩子需要的胡蘿卜。下一個回合時，熊希望在他的整個國家的所有其他熊都為雌性。兔子希望有一輛摩托車。最後的願望，熊希望整個地球上的所有其他熊為雌性。兔子希望熊是同性戀，然後騎著摩托車回家了。

4 火雞幹了什麽

A man goes to a pet shop and buys a talking parrot. He takes the parrot home and tries to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead, the parrot just swears at him. After a few hours of trying to teach the bird, the man finally says, "If you don't stop swearing, I'm going to put you in the freezer as punishment." The parrot continues, so finally the man puts the bird in the freezer. About an hour later, the parrot asks the man to please open the door. As the man takes the shivering bird out of the freezer, it says, "I promise to never swear again. Just tell me what that turkey did!"

一男子進入一家寵物店買了會說話的鸚鵡。他把鸚鵡帶回家，並試圖教鸚鵡說幾件事情，但是，鸚鵡對他說髒話。幾個小時的嚐試教鳥後，該男子終於說，“如果你不停止說髒話，我將把你放在冰箱裏作為懲罰。”鸚鵡繼續說髒話，所以最後這個人把鳥放在冰箱裏。約一小時後，這隻鸚鵡請人開了門。當該男子把在冰箱中直哆嗦鳥拿出來時，它說，“我保證永遠不說髒話了，告訴我火雞做了什麽！”

5 蚊子寶寶

It was a baby mosquito's first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, "How was your journey?" The baby mosquito replied, "It went great. Everyone was clapping for me!"

這是蚊子寶寶從家裏飛了出來的第一天。當天晚些時候蚊子回到家時，蚊子父親問道，“你的旅程怎麽樣？” 蚊子寶寶回答說：“太棒了。每個人都在為我鼓掌！”

6 貓和狗的不同

What is the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs think, "Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so they must be Gods. Cats think, "Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so I must be God."

一隻貓和一隻狗之間的區別是什麽？狗認為，“人類是善意的，他們養活我，照顧我，所以他們一定是上帝。”貓認為，“人類是善意的，他們養活我，照顧我，所以我一定是上帝。”