1 在珍珠港受傷

While vacationing in the Hawaiian Islands, I visited the World War II memorial atop the sunken U. S.  Battleship Arizona, a monument to those who died in the attack on Pearl Harbor. On board, I slipped on a stairway and injured my thumb.

Back home, with the thumb still not healing properly, I called my doctor for an appointment. When I was asked the nature of my illness, I thought I’d give the background and began," I was injured at Pearl Harbor..."

"Well,” the nurse interrupted. “It took you long enough to report it!”

在夏威夷島度假時，我參觀了二戰紀念館。這個館建在戰爭中被打沉的美軍戰艦Arizona號上，以紀念那些在珍珠港戰鬥中死亡的將士們。參觀完上岸時，我在台階上滑了一跤，把拇指劃破了。

回到家後，我的拇指仍然沒有愈合。於是，我預約了大夫。去看大夫時，我需要說清受傷的原因。我覺得要想把話說清楚必須要從頭講起，於是我這樣開了頭:“在珍珠港，我受了傷……，，

“噢，”護士打斷了我的話說，“怎麽過了這麽久你才把它說出來?”

2 公民權力

On the first day of an American history class at Purdue University in Indiana, the professor assigned five chapters on civil rights.  The next day, he asked one of my classmates to name ten of those rights.  When the student made no response, the professor said, "ALL RIGHT. Name five. "Still the student said nothing. Finally, the exasperated professor begged, "Just name one right you have as a civilian."

To a room full of laughter, the young man replied, “I have the right to remain silent.”

在印地安那州的西拉法耶市波督大學，我上的第一節美國曆史課的那天，教授講了五章關於公民權利的課程。第二天，他叫了一名學生讓他說出十條公民權利。那個學生一聲沒吭，教授說:“好吧，說五條也行。”那個學生仍什麽也沒說。最後，教授絕望地懇求道:“就說一條也成.”

對著哄堂大笑的課堂，那個學生回答說:“我有權保持沉默。”

3 誰是主宰

Driving our family to a new restaurant, I took several wrong turns.  When I finally found the right road, I asked my husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?"

"I thought you knew where you were going, “he replied. “You always know where you're going when I'm driving.”

我開車帶著全家去一個新開業的餐館。路上我拐錯了好幾個彎兒。最後，我終於找到了路。這時我問丈夫，“剛才你為什麽不告訴我迷路了?"

 “我以為你知道該往哪兒開呢!”他回答道:“因為平時我開車時，你在旁邊總說你知道該怎樣走。”

4 知音

After friends of mine landed at busy Newark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.

In an instant, a skycap was at his side. "Sir," observed the porter, ”you certainly have excellent communication skills."

我的幾個朋友到達紐約機場時，好一陣子的工夫都沒能找到人搬運行李。正在絕望之際，我丈夫掏出了一張五美元的紙幣在空中向人群揮動。

很快，一個高個子來到了他的身邊，“先生，”那搬運工說: “您傳遞信息的水平太高了。”

5 為母親約會

When the young waitress in the cafe in my building started waving hello every day, I was flattered. She was at least 15 years younger than I.

One day she waved and beckoned to me.  When I strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

“Why, yes,” I replied, smiling at her broadly.

“So is my mom,” she said. ”Would you like to meet her?"

在我工作的大樓裏有間咖啡館，那兒的女招待每天見到我都向我打招呼。我因此受寵若驚。要知道她至少要比我小15歲。

有一天，她見到我後，朝我招手示意讓我過去。於是，我便走了過去。她問我，“你現在是單身嗎?”

 “對，是單身。”我滿臉堆笑地說。

 “我母親也是，”她說:“你願意不願意見見她。”

6 有同情心的訪客

A big burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

“Madam,” he said in a broken voice,” I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district.

The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving.

They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400.”

“How terrible!” Exclaimed the preacher's wife. ”May I ask who you are?”

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. ”I'm the landlord.” he sobbed.

一個高大魁梧的男人到牧師家拜訪，他要求會見牧師的妻子，這是一個以有著慈悲心腸而聞名的婦女。

男人用令人心碎的聲音說，“夫人，我希望能引起您的注意的是，這個地區有一戶人家現在生活特別困頓，父親死了，母親也因重病無法工作，九個孩子都在挨餓。他們即將被趕到空蕩蕩的大街上，如果沒有人為他們付400美元的房租的話。”

“這麽糟糕！”牧師的妻子驚叫，“我能問問您是誰嗎？”

這個富於同情心的訪客用手絹拭著眼睛，啜泣著說：“我就是他們的房東。”