中午剛剛坐下來吃午飯,ICU就page 我,而且是stat,這種情況往往是有病人突然惡化,我趕緊回到ICU。
沒想到出狀況的竟然是Ms. W,她是80多歲的老太太,嚴重的心衰,在急診code了兩次,奇跡般地活了下來,而且不斷好轉,是我們的magic 老太太。她瘦瘦小小的,很安靜,說話也很禮貌。
我走進房間,老太太完全紫紺了,呼吸也很費力,兩個肺全是囉音,提示著她的心力衰竭又一次加重了。這種情況下,是應該重新氣管插管的,但她是no code,就是不搶救的。我把現在的情況解釋給老太太聽,她奮力地搖頭,雖然帶著氧氣麵罩,但是我能依稀聽出來她說,let me die with peace。我用力握了握她的手,把氧氣調到了最大流量,然後,她就在上帝的手裏了。老太太的先生已經去世了,兒子早已失去了聯係。房間裏隻有我和她,還有她沉重凝滯的呼吸聲。
這時候另外一個病人也突然惡化了,家人要求全力搶救,房間裏熙熙攘攘的醫生護士,呼吸技師,病人家屬,我們一邊交待病情,家屬一邊大聲哭泣。
等到病人穩定下來,我又回到 Ms. W的房間,她已經喪失了意識,隻有間歇的掙紮呼吸,和監護儀上的心電圖,還在記錄著她微弱的生命痕跡。
隔壁房間是繁忙的家屬來回走動,打電話聯係更多的家屬,哭泣聲此起彼伏,而這個房間,隻有她一個人孤零零地走向死亡。我握起她的手,至少讓我,陪她走完人生的最後一程。
最後心跳和呼吸停止了,我關掉了監護儀。她的臉很安詳,我沒有辦法挽回她的生命,但是至少她最後的願望,die with peace,得到了尊重。至少她最後的一程,有人握著她的手,說再見。
We'll do it all Everything On our own
We don't need Anything Or anyone
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know How to say How I feel
Those three words Are said too much They're not enough
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time Chasing cars Around our heads
I need your grace To remind me To find my own
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am All that I ever was Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where Confused about how as well Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
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