It's been almost 5 months since I de-rooted to Chicago. I still feel hugely like an outsider and I have ambivalent feelings toward this city. I do like certain aspects of the city. I like it that it is pedestrian friendly. I like it has far reaching and convenient public transportation so that I can finally be rid of my reliance on cars. I like the lake, the museums, the ubiquitous bookstores. Unfortunately equally palpable was my dislike of the people inhabiting it. I can't stand their baseless superiority, rudeness and provinciality. I felt my patience with this new city was fading, with the last traces of the warm weather swallowed up by the bitter winter cold. The other day EP and I took a walk around town. It was mildly cold and the city looked skyscrapered gray. I could see the sunshine seeping through the gaps between the chimney-like building columns, yet the orange light rays were plainly beyond the reach. I told EP I wish I could place a restraining order on the entire city - no one would be allowed 50 yards around me unless being summoned. I believe that you need to live in a city to truly appreciate it. And for that matter, I will stick in my heels and I will persevere. I wish my perception of the city will turn for the better. If only for the lake that I framed in my windows. Be good Chicago. Don't let me down any further.
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