我晚上有時看美國的晚間秀，那些人隨便調侃評說時事，有些很有趣。昨天看得是David Letterman show，給大家摘記幾段。

1。最近白宮內白人黑人民主共和不同派別不同立場不同經曆的五位美國總統共進午餐，據說他們一致同意的事就一件，那就是佩林是個非常火辣性感的女人。這之後，布什總統Pick up了賬單，而克林頓，他Pick up了女招待。

2.挽救經濟危機途徑其實很多，這裏是Top 10 list。

·         Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

·         End our dependence on foreign owls

·         Sell New Mexico to Mexico

·         Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock！

·         Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

·         Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

·         Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

·         Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

·         Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

·         Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'! 

3. 曆史上總統們偉大的講話。布什曾經說過，“不知大家是否記得，在我們的曆史上我們曾經有過太多的猶太人和意大利人。”（At one point in our history we had too many Jewish people and too many Italians. I don't know if you remember that”。）(明亮按，大家正在評選布什總統是否是近來50年中最差的總統，如果我們評選曆史上最憨厚滑稽的總統，我一定投他一票。他從白宮撤到德州，真是娛樂界的一大損失啊。) 

4. 總統就職日據說奧巴馬會做火車從紐約到華盛頓，沿途會有很多群眾向他致意見證這一偉大曆史。我們公司批準雇員可以動用一天假期。大家都紛紛請假了，我抽樣調查大家去不去華盛頓看，老板說那天他剛從加州那邊回機場，趕不及了。德國同學說，現場會非常混亂他不準備犧牲自己。我那天準備繼續恢複睡到自然醒，估計也趕不上看典禮了。據說每屆總統就職典禮都會包裝得有些各人特色，比如克林頓就職那天，婦女們喝酒是免費的。

 5. 據說奧巴馬心裏已經訂好美國商業部長的最佳人選，大概是華納公司的理查德。請聽下麵一段：
Announce: "Businessman Richard Parsons is being considered to be the next Secretary of Commerce. Parsons is best   known for leading Time Warner, whose divisions included Time Warner Cable. Parsons says he'll show up for his interview with Obama on Friday some time between 9 AM and 4 PM. Time Warner Cable -- Your call is very important to us; please continue to hold."