Conformity
Sha Yan
Eleven dollars and fifty cents with tax please. The cashier in front of me said urgently.
Yes, here you go. Allan replied and handed the handsome cashier a 1bill and some change. Then he quickly exited the front door of the used bookstore and walked to the caf opposite of the used bookstore across the street on Mont-Royal.
This morning, Allan went to this used bookstore and found this book, Old man and the sea, First Edition. Allan browsed through some of the book and decided to buy it with intend. It was a precious book to get here in town, he thought; and it was not expensive.
Allan went into the caf, found a seat on the wooden patio and sat down. He took off his coat, hanged on the seat opposite and walked to the counter, bought a cup of coffee and went back. After he sat down, he took out the Old man and the sea he just bought a while ago and started to read from the first page.
Allan is a middle-aged man, 38 years old, married his first wife when he was 30. His wife went to Canada from China after they were married; and she stayed here. One year later, for no reason, she left Allan. Allan thought the reason for her was that he didnt have a steady job and a steady income to support her. So she left him, alone, the reason was very obvious. Yes Allan now is alone, himself, in this vast commercial sea of Canada.
Allan was an engineering graduate. And right after he graduated in Canada, he found a job in the US and started working. During that time, he had a job transition and worked for a different company. But aboutnine months later, Allan came back to Canada because the company started to lay-off people immediately for economical slow-downs. Allan wasnt laid off in the first round, but when he thought of there would be a second round, third round lay-offs, he decided to come back to Canada for he did not have resident status in the US. Yes, Allan was now unemployed.
Allan never launched a job campaign here in Canada. For about eight years, he has been looking and looking for a job, but he never successfully launched anything here. He is sad for the situation he lived in. Jobless, and he have to rely on welfare for living seriously.
Allan never got married again for his wife left him. He tried to find another girl for marriage but he did not success on that as well.
Now here he was, Allan, separated, jobless and on welfare. He was trying to read now the book Old man and the sea.
Allan loved arts, and he tried to write. He wanted to become a writer and he started to write some short stories for his life and poetry and novels. He was used to read lots of novels and short stories in his school days. And for poetry, Allan wrote good poems. He was being good.
Allan had some paintings as his possession privately. He especially bought them when they were cheap. He thought about it when he bought them, he wanted to make some money on those paintings, but he never succeeded it.
He had the painting hanged over his wall, specifically.
This is what he getsa very colorful painting of a Mayan man selling some flowers. The painting is a small one, Allan got it from the painter selling on the Internet. The painter had only sellers name as his status, and as a painter, Allan thought. When he bought the painting, the ads. on the painting says that, It is a million dollar painting. If you can not sell the paintings for a million dollar in 10years, you can get double of your money back. Consider it as investment, you will have double of your money back in 10years if you cant sell the painting for one million. Allan thought it was funny. He bought the painting and listed on sale for eight thousand dollars.
It is a good painting. Delinquently colorful with some rigid and dull brush strokes, technically. There are some colorful, rigid and dull greasy oil-paint stitches on the painting. And the painting looks all greasy, oil on canvas, Impressionism painting. It is a greasy art, and greasy art is expensive, Allan thought. Like people always say, crazy art or some sort. The name of the painting is The Flower Seller. The colorful Mayan man looks very honest. Allan loved the painting.
Allan had a collection of books. Here he was, reading his newly bought first edition Old man and the sea in the caf, seriously. Allan loved the book, and his coffee. He sipped the coffee and continued his reading. Yes, it would be nice to put the book on my bookshelf, Allan thought.Allan had a couple of hundreds collection books from good publishers or good editions. He loved books like he loved himself imminently.
Allan is a Christian baptized fourteen years ago in a local Montreal Chinese church. After he became Christian, he practiced very hard on Christianity. He read Bible and participated in Bible study groups very often. Every Sunday, he joined his Christian brothers and sisters in the church to worship God. He became a good Christian.
The flowers were blooming in the front of the caf shop. Trees on the street were green, with branches extended to the sky. It was the summer, golden shiny sunshine stroke its rays on the roof edge of the caf, and left a black shadow on the wooden patio right beside the gray concrete wall. It was hot and sweaty on the patio, you could see the sweat on Allans forehead like he was in an oil painting. Allan sat there, his shadow was black, big and immense beside his seat on the patio. He was satisfied, prominently. After a while, Allan put the book back into his briefcase, and sipped his coffee, and rested in thoughts.
There were some people walking on the street as usual. They talked like usual, dressed like usual, and they played like usual, Allan thought when he was looking at them. There are lots of small shops on the plateau Mont-Royal area. Some people came in and out, buying, and it is a busy commercial street.
Finally he finished his coffee, and decided to go home.
Allan loved the Internet. After he went back home, he went straightly to the Books and Literature Chat Room.
Yes, I got this book, Old man and the sea. First edition. Allan typed excitingly.
Please, please.. Pigsleigh on the Internet said with a funny tone.
I loved it. Allan added.
Someone is finally after himself. Pigsleigh added.
Sure, I love myself, Allan said.
You wish someone else typed with a funny tone.
You wish one added.
You wish thats the third one.
I think I am right, lots of times. I typed seriously.
Glean the ash, when you dont have to spare the lash. I suddenly added.
What the ××××. One typed madly.
No one cared except Pigsleigh, maybe I was being too straight. Maybe I should change my wit, try some thing harder. Maybe they will like me in a better way on the Internet. But being straight is always good, like English Straight Talk. But sometime I found it was barely too straight. That was why people get annoying lots of times. Allan thought. Allan hated that.
Allan opened the briefcase and put the book he just bought right on the bookshelf, and started to look at his collection of books. He suddenly felt sad, immensely, and then desperate when he looked at his bookshelf, and looked at his painting on the barely concrete wall, and then looked at his laptop on his desk again. There was still a lease on the laptop. He was sad. Allan was sad for the reason he doesnt have a steady job with a steady income. Allan was sad for the reason he is separated with his wife. Allan was sad for he is a very good man, he has many true loves, like he loves books and arts. Allan was sad for he does not have many friends so he can talk to them often when he wants to. Allan was sad for his sleigh, there was too many annoying people trying to stop him when he chats. Allan was sad for this desperate life, and the desperate painting he loved but was never sold; and he was sad for this life has brought to him. Yes, he was still on welfare. Allan was SORRY.
Yes, I needed to be saved, Allan thought for a while. I had been trying to be good, and trying to be hard, Allan thought. But who cares, another good man. There are too many good men, hard men of all kinds, but there is only one God, Allan thought. Yes, God, save me! Allan silently prayed. Then he was at rest, sobbed and felt crashed, feeling the immense power from the God upon him, crashed him, saved him. Erhmmmm, God is amazing, Allan thought. Then it was the joy, joy of being saved by God, joy of that pleasing God in such a wonderful way, joy of joy of the great delightfulness along with Gods power and presence, the great joy Allan never had before since he started to believe God. Allan was more than happy and greatly joyful.
Yes, God saved Allan. God loved Allan when he was weak in front of Him. God doesnt care how rich or poor you are, God doesnt care how strong and good you are. God simply care about who you are and whether you love Him or not. God loved Allan.
