Paradox of Happiness-Dedicated to my beloved son Leo

Leo,

I pray that you have the desire and the knowledge for true happiness. I listened to 8 lies of happiness and ran after them. May I share with you so you will not repeat the same mistakes I made ?

1. If I were rich, I'd be happy
2. If I were famous, I'd be happy
3. If I could find my soul mate to marry, I'd be happy
4. If I had more true good friends, I'd be happy
5. If I were more attractive, I'd be happy
6. If I weren't physically handicapped in any way, I'd be happy
7. If all of those who Iove can live forever, I'd be happy
8. if I were able to make the world a better place to live, I'd be happy

I am so busy to improve myself in order to meet my inner standard to feel good and enjoy life. I had very few hours for you. In my memory, you seem to grow up in one night and I did not experience the role of a nurturing mother.

I often blame, angry or despair at home. Now you go to university and soar as an eagle. I was left behind in the empty nest. I have a desire to find the secret of happiness and give it to you. 

Today I find a poem to recite to you:

In my youth I respected the world and life,

I needed not anything but peace of heart,

And yet I changed despite myself and believed in spide's lies,

He seemed to know all the truth, 

he promosed to make me happy.

He made me ask God for wealth,

that I might have power;

I was given repeated pink checks, that I might find my inner strength

I asked for success, so others would repect me;

I was given obsurity, that I might know myself.

I asked for a person to love that I might never be alone;

I was given a man who broke my heart in the time of distresses,

that I might learn to accept myself.

I asked for power, that I might achieve;

I was given weakness, that I might learn to obey.

I asked for beauty, that I might attract devoted attention;

I was given infirmity, that I might appreciate every grace.

I asked God for strength, that I might have my way;

I was given rejection, that I might feel the need for cooperation.

I asked to live happily, that I might enjoy life;

I was given life, that I might live happily.

I received nothing I asked for,

yet all my wishes came true.

Despite my false self and wrong beliefs,

my dreams were fulfilled,

I am richly blessed more than I ever hoped.

I thank you, God, for what you've given me.